I like what someone told me one time about surgery. They said, "Surgery is not major unless it's happening to you!" How true that is!!! I've had over 2 months to worry about this surgery, and it seemed the closer the date got the more worried I became. I had to continuously take captive the thoughts which were not true, noble, lovely, pure, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy, and turn them over to the Lord. I tell you, it was a BATTLE!!!!
But, then, the BATTLE became BEAUTIFUL!!! I knew people were praying for me, and I heard such words of encouragement from many people this past Sunday night, BUT I still was very nervous. I prayed about God giving me a peace about the surgery, but I just couldn't stop worrying about it...until Monday night. I can't explain it, but it had to have been people praying for me. I FELT God's peace wash over me, and I actually slept well until 3:30AM when my alarm clock went off!!! I got up, got ready, and still I was peaceful. Was I still worried? Yes, a little, but God's peace was stronger, and I RESTED in it!!! It was amazing. In my Bible reading from the previous day, God gave me such words of encouragement to cling to. It came from Isaiah 43, verses 1-2.
Now, this is what the Lord says - the One who created you, Jacob, and the One who formed you, Israel - "Do not fear for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; you are MINE. I will be with you when you pass through the waters, and when you pass through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you. You will not be scorched when you walk through the fire and the flame will not burn you."
And then in Isaiah 43:4, He said, "Because you are precious in My sight and honored, and I love you, I will give human beings in your place, and peoples in place of your life. DO NOT FEAR, FOR I AM WITH YOU!!!!!!"
I literally clung to that last line, and I constantly repeated it throughout the day, on the way to the hospital, and even as I lay there in bed, waiting for them to poke needles and such in me.
The surgery was supposed to only take about a couple of hours, even though they allot 3 for it. My surgery took 3 1/2 hours. My doctor told me I got all of his 17 years of experience in that one operation. My thyroid was large, much larger than what anyone realized. We knew it was underneath both sides of my collarbone, but nobody knew that it had grown around my voice box to where it almost touched on the backside of it. The doctor came in the next morning to shake my hand and congratulate me, telling me that I was in his top 10 most worst surgeries he's ever done!!!
Let me just say that I know God's hand was in it. We can't live in "what if's", but who knows what would have happened to my voice if we had waited any longer about having my thyroid removed. I imagine I might have been without a voice, which is NOT a terrible thing, but it would have been an adjustment. I'm so thankful that God in His infinite wisdom orchestrated all of this, and the surgeon got the thyroid out without any complications other than it being physically tiring for him!!!
Who could have asked for a better Valentine's weekend?? It was a beautiful, snowy weekend, and my hubby was so sweet! He came in Saturday night, and gave me a bouquet of flowers. They were white and trimmed with a dark pink - something simple, but beautiful! He got his parents to watch the kids for us on Monday, and he took me out for a lunch date! It was a nice time. I truly love my husband!!!
sigh I feel like I'm always running behind. I want to keep up with my life on this blog, but, unfortunately, "life" gets in the way!!! =)
I LOVE snow!!!! I always look forward to at least one good snow each winter, and I was beginning to wonder about it this year. We had a couple of little "teases" or dustings, if you will, but on Friday, February 12, 2010, it began to snow, and it snowed, and it snowed, and it snowed, and it snowed!!!! It was STILL snowing when I went to bed, and believe me, I stayed up late to watch it!! 8) It was the pure, clean, white snow; there was no ice in it all!! We got out in it and played, and of course I made pictures!
What is it about snow that brings the kid out in all of us? I don't know, but I know it's just about one of the most beautiful scenes that God could ever come up with. I love the soft, quiet, stillness in the air. I love the pure whiteness piled up against a blue sky. It all points me to OUR Creator, and I stand in awe and wonderment!!! It literally takes my breath away!
I have often wondered how June Cleaver did it. But then I realize, she didn't homeschool little Beaver and Wally. So how can I be June Cleaver AND homeschool? The truth is, I CAN'T!!! We were having some listening and paying attention issues during our school time yesterday, and I had had enough, so I pulled out my "you're going to public school card" and played it. (If you homeschool, I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.) C. was in tears, and I was in tears. I walked out of the room, changed into some comfortable clothes, praying about what to do, asking God to forgive me, and began washing dishes. My son didn't know what to think because I had told him that I had resigned as his teacher. Bless his heart, he didn't even know what that meant, so I had to take the time to explain it to him. As I was washing dishes, he brought a piece a paper over to me, stood at my side and let me read it. It read, "I am sory that I did thos things wil you frgiv me I am rily rily sory". I started talking to him about the "things" to which he was referring. He had misunderstood what I had been upset about, so I tried to explain in the best way I knew how so that he could understand. He left my side, with his note in hand, and went back to the table, I thought, to do some more work. He then came back to my side, and then decides to stand IN FRONT of me so I could see his note straight on. This is what he added to his previous note, "Wil you be mi teachr I love your teching". By this point, tears are streaming down my cheeks, with my repentant heart feeling so heavy, I bowed my head and boo hooed. C. began boo hooing, too. I'm sure he felt he had done something terribly wrong, so I asked him to come around to me, and I hugged him so hard!!!! I told him that was one of the sweetest notes that I've EVER received, I loved him, and YES, I would be his teacher again.
I fail so many times as a mother, a teacher, a wife, but God seems to somehow use my children to show me what forgiveness truly is. He uses them to touch my heart, and He gets my attention through them A LOT!! I wouldn't trade any of my roles for anything, even when I fall flat on my face. Of course, when I fall, I don't fall directly on my face, but God catches me in His loving arms! Oh, how I am so very thankful!!!!!
I don't know how too many people get by without prayer. I'm a FIRM BELIEVER in prayer. We've been praying about my upcoming surgery and how much my thyroid is extending into my chest, if it is at all. PRAISE THE LORD I received a phone call that it is NOT extending into my chest, and it should be no problem to remove. We were also concerned about insurance not covering the CT scan, but we received a letter stating that they are!!! God is so good!!!
I went for a laryngoscopy last week to check out my vocal chords. That's where they take this tiny camera and shove it up your nose and down your throat to take pics of the vocal chords. It didn't hurt at all, but was more of a pressured feeling in my nose. I'm just thankful that I didn't sneeze!!! LOL The ENT doc told me my chords look good. (There is still a risk, however, with them being damaged during surgery, but I'm just relying on prayer and my Lord!)
Then today was echocardiogram day to check out the heart murmur I've had since I was a child. My pediatrician back then seemed to think I would outgrow it, but I never have. I haven't received the results from it yet, but I did find out the name of my murmur. It's HOCM. I have NO CLUE as to what that stands for. The technician told me, but it was so long and such an unfamiliar term that it basically went in one ear and slid right out the other side. 8)
Surgery is 1 week from Tuesday, and I greatly appreciate prayers. My mind is my worst enemy, and that is where I have a battle going on most of the time. I have to take my thoughts captive and surrender them to the Lord, and ask Him for His help to replace them with true, noble, lovely, and pleasing thoughts. And yet again, prayer is working!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, is there something that you need help with? Are you going through a difficult time? Prayer works!! Let me know if I can pray for you, and I will do it! God bless!