Thursday, February 11, 2010

Ode To a Homeschooling Mom

I have often wondered how June Cleaver did it. But then I realize, she didn't homeschool little Beaver and Wally. So how can I be June Cleaver AND homeschool? The truth is, I CAN'T!!! We were having some listening and paying attention issues during our school time yesterday, and I had had enough, so I pulled out my "you're going to public school card" and played it. (If you homeschool, I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.) C. was in tears, and I was in tears. I walked out of the room, changed into some comfortable clothes, praying about what to do, asking God to forgive me, and began washing dishes. My son didn't know what to think because I had told him that I had resigned as his teacher. Bless his heart, he didn't even know what that meant, so I had to take the time to explain it to him. As I was washing dishes, he brought a piece a paper over to me, stood at my side and let me read it. It read, "I am sory that I did thos things wil you frgiv me I am rily rily sory". I started talking to him about the "things" to which he was referring. He had misunderstood what I had been upset about, so I tried to explain in the best way I knew how so that he could understand. He left my side, with his note in hand, and went back to the table, I thought, to do some more work. He then came back to my side, and then decides to stand IN FRONT of me so I could see his note straight on. This is what he added to his previous note, "Wil you be mi teachr I love your teching". By this point, tears are streaming down my cheeks, with my repentant heart feeling so heavy, I bowed my head and boo hooed. C. began boo hooing, too. I'm sure he felt he had done something terribly wrong, so I asked him to come around to me, and I hugged him so hard!!!! I told him that was one of the sweetest notes that I've EVER received, I loved him, and YES, I would be his teacher again.

I fail so many times as a mother, a teacher, a wife, but God seems to somehow use my children to show me what forgiveness truly is. He uses them to touch my heart, and He gets my attention through them A LOT!! I wouldn't trade any of my roles for anything, even when I fall flat on my face. Of course, when I fall, I don't fall directly on my face, but God catches me in His loving arms! Oh, how I am so very thankful!!!!!


Kelly said...

Girl, I know where you're coming from! We didn't choose homeschooling b/c it's easy and fun, did we? LOL Many days I feel like a failure, but giving up is not an option when you're doing something God called you to do.
Your children are turning out beautifully and C.'s note is proof that you're doing something right! Hug those sweet children for the Adams'!

TexasNeals said...

ha! i loved that! we had that exact scene in our house just this week! i'm so glad i'm not alone. aren't kids such a great window into the eyes of God. such a beautiful moment for you and him. and i agree w/ kelly. that note is evidence of his sweet, sweet heart. it's so soft...just the way it should be. and that is a big testimony to your mothering!!!
i just want you to know how much your comments have blessed me. you have the gift of encouragement and i just wanted to thank you so much for all the encouragement you have given me on my blog. thanks again and thank you for that post. homeschooling and trying to be june clever isn't easy! ha! i tend to be pulled in that direction too. we've just got to keep focused...."only one thing is necessary."

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